Hello my lovelies,
So this may be chemically altered, but it is fabulous that my head is able to concentrate on other things than the past. There is so much ability, that I am a bit like an excitable puppy running around from one thing to the other, not being able to focus for long because I just have so much to do and get done.
However, there is the fatigue, oh the fatigue, I have been in bed all day. Guaranteed I am not going to sleep until the early hours but even with 10 hours, I am struggling to move.
A way I can describe how my brain feels is when I first got drunk and I couldn’t remember a thing about the memories. I can stare at the trees and it is peaceful.
My support network is very strong, the strongest it has been. My trip to the hospital brought a lot of things into light and it has taken a great deal of conversation to get everyone understanding what is going on. It is also amazing that I am not being viewed a psycho or crazy person, and there is patience that is being practised.
I have to admit it is difficult to explain to my parents the trap I fell into, and it was very surreal when it became real that what I went through was a crime and that these men were not my friends or being nice to me out of the kindest of their hearts.
But I am able to get up without wanting it to be over, and I am able to see some light in the distance. The medication has me restless and up and down but overall, I am smiling and I have my fight back, I am just starting out this path to finding who I am away from what defined me.